Saturday, June 30, 2007

I have no words (at least no nice ones)

Could have mentioned this earlier, but I chose not to. Anyway, long story short, James came across his personnel file at work yesterday. He wasn't snooping, but it was not with the rest of the files, it was in a random drawer and he happened to need something out of that drawer. There was no reason for it to have been in that drawer and no one around, so...he opened it and...

The only thing worth mentioning is that his former "supervisor," if you will, gave him a bad reference. How sucky! You may know this already, but it took James forever to find a part-time job once we left our old ministries. Seriously, it took a year to find something. James worked at our last church for five years. James worked his butt off and then some! Sure, we weren't in it for money or recognition, but you've got to keep in mind that he (we) served our last church with all of our hearts for five years and they only paid us $10,000/year. I can't believe this former "supervisor" would have the flippin' nerve to say "he has a knack for looking like an unmade bed." That was actually written in the margins from where James' current supervisor called to check the reference.

First of all, not that he looked like an "unmade bed," but even if he did, he couldn't afford to dress like a flippin' southern gospel quartet member. $10,000 only goes so far when you have to pay rent, utilities, eat, etc. I just find myself being more and more disappointed by our former pastor. How he can stand in the pulpit and claim that James and I would always be like his own children, yada yada, and flip the switch totally once we left and moved to Bethel, I'll never know. He was my pastor for 13 years and I though I could trust him. I thought I could believe the things he said and that he actually believed in us. What a joke! I'm not sure why, but I still find it hard to believe that he and SOME of his family members are so fake.

I guess we should have seen it coming since he never even once checked on Matthew while he was in the NICU for 57 days. After all, this is the same man that told some of our former youth group that we wouldn't want them to visit us.

I'm really not mad, irritated, or anything about the bad reference, but it's pretty interesting to think that all the jobs James didn't get in the last year could have been because Fro gave him a bad reference. The nicest thing he said about James was that "he is capable with the computer." Gee, thanks. Seriously, we're still getting back on our feet from that lack of income for so long. I shouldn't be, but I'm so stunned that he couldn't even find one nice thing to say about James. James was a faithful, dedicated, and hardworking part of Fro's ministry team that put up with a ton of crap. After all, it was ministry and you don't just quit when someone gets on your nerves. You put up with things because you're serving and not working. I wish I could ask Fro about the trillions of times James had to cover for him because the church was the last thing on his mind. What about that? He just decided he was done with us when we stood up and said we weren't interested in being puppets.

I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed, again, in the man who claimed he loved us as much as his own daughter. What a big fat joke. I do take comfort in the fact that I'm not even upset. I guess I'm finally getting over all of the hurt and exhaustion that we left behind in Fultondale.



Vikki said...

I am so glad you guys are at Bethel, where you are loved and respected! I hate that you had to find out what he said and that he could be the reason behind not finding a job for so long. But I will tell you when we called, we were given a great reference on you both! I hope that helps!

Love my Copeland fam!!

Mindy said...

Don't let this kind of experience hinder your ability to trust. Sometimes we just have to learn the hard way how to protect our hearts. However, we can't stop living or trusting for fear of being hurt. It's a part of life and we alway learn from the experiences, good and bad. I believe you're both a good judge of character, so don't let this experience cause you to question that.